To the "Next"
To the Next Girl:
You must be one spunky individual. Don’t ever lose that. Always laugh- he just wants to see you smile. Always play- make it a challenge and make him use that meticulous intelligence of his. Keep him on his toes- push him, remind him of all he is capable of. Love him deeply. He holds his head high, sometimes too high, but love him for it. He won’t effectively communicate when he needs you most- love him through the silence. Learn every nuance, every crevice of his being, every quirk and pet peeve. Explore him like a valley, climbing up every peak and trekking every ravine that has been untouched and deserves to be seen. Be patient, especially when he’s driving (the road rage was a lot more comical in the PriPri). He is strong-willed and will always care for you. Sometimes he doesn’t have the right words, or he won’t be right where you need him to be. He still cares- he can promise that much. Don’t let any ugliness of the world take away from the beauty of the love in front of you. Hold him tight, tighter than his own convictions. When you two fight (inevitable), keep fucking fighting. Keep fucking fighting to get him vulnerable- he is something of pure wonder and amazement behind that Navy-esqe exterior. Don’t let the uncomfortableness of confrontation make something great slip away. When his walls come down, and he senses like security is crumbling, bring down your walls. Honor him. Show him kindness. Please don’t give up.
With grace and heart, I’m glad he has you.
To the Next Boy:
Boy oh boy. Yes, I am fun, loving, charismatic, selfless, and terrible at math. Underneath it all, is a lot. I hold a story with twists and turns in to the deepest pits of hell. I am proud of them. I hope you can be too. I hope you always have a narrative of “us” to tell- I love a good story that conveniently doubles as necessary reassurance. I hope you are accepting of the fact I am, more often than not, a mess. There will be days that are messier than others. I hope you not only embrace the messiness, but encourage it and all it’s authenticity; I sure as shit will not be apologizing for any of it. I need to be held occasionally, told affirmations on a daily basis, and simply be heard and seen of my experiences, of all that I am. Sharing my concerns and worries may not always happen immediately. I will tell you, just give me time. Until then, sit with me in the silence. Take these muted moments to learn the nuances of my behaviors, to explore the hills and valleys of my soul, to cultivate a sound proof barrier against the white noise of life. I trust you. When I do open up to you, LISTEN- I have a lot that I want to share with you and it deserves to be acknowledged. Whenever we fight (inevitable), make me fucking fight. I won't ask for help, and I’ll be quick to shut it all off. Fucking fight for what you believe it, and to remind me I am enough- no matter the opinion- that no request is ever “too much”, that whatever I believe in is worthy and can only be understood if I make it known. I promise to fight for you just as hard, always and unconditionally. Be patient with me- especially when I’m trying to “perfect”. When my walls (or myself) come down, and I start to shut you out, lead me to the sun, the moon, the stars. It’s not personal, I am not dismissing you. Show me all that I, and the world, are capable of to be beautiful and divine- that there is nothing to fear. I am at my most vulnerable. Honor me. Show me kindness. Please don’t give up.
With grace and heart, I’m glad I have you.